Friday, November 02, 2007


The Juice Plus 12-Step Program For Fleecing Consumers

  1. Show scary statistics to raise anxiety about cancer and chronic diseases.
  2. Talk about research that shows fruit and vegetables are good for us and can lower the risk of some diseases, then exaggerate like hell and try to convince people that fruits and vegetables are a cure-all for everything.
  3. Scare people who don’t eat a lot of fruits and vegetables into believing that they are going to get sick and die if they don’t take Juice Plus.
  4. Offer a few pennies worth of low-grade fruit and vegetables in a capsule combined with a bunch of added vitamins, pass if off as a solution for a crummy diet, then sell it to people for a ridiculously inflated price – and lock them into a mandatory 4-month purchase contract to extract the maximum amount of money before they get wise to the scam.
  5. Fill the pockets of a bunch of doctors (mostly aging dinosaurs and greedy, remorseless hacks) with money so that they will endorse the product and conduct tainted research, and then hide the financial connection from the public.
  6. Tell people that independent scientists have proven that Juice Plus is the greatest thing since penicillin, even though the research shows the product doesn’t do anything that multivitamins couldn’t do for about a nickel a day.
  7. Develop a sales force of pyramid-scheme distributors (including tarot card readers, astrologers, nail technicians, masseuses, chiropractors, and any other poseur with a mail order “holistic wellness” degree hanging on their wall) and then dispatch them to pressure their friends, coworkers, clients, church groups, and PTAs into buying into the scam – and say whatever it takes to make the sale, even if that means lying or breaking the law.
  8. Have distributors lure even more people into selling Juice Plus for them (so that they can profit from those sales too) by telling the mark that selling Juice Plus will make them rich and save mankind.
  9. Target advertising at the most vulnerable and naïve people in society, like children, cancer patients, and innocent little old ladies.
  10. Setup bogus health-related charitable organizations to make the whole fraudulent operation seem like philanthropy.
  11. Squeeze even more money from all the bottom-feeding new distributors by selling them Juice Plus merchandise, sales aids, and training on how to become a better distributor.
  12. Conduct regular seminars for distributors and drown them in company propaganda to generate a cult-like team of deluded automatons to spread the Juice Plus gospel.

I love it being a true 12 stepper, AA for years! They have their hooks into my sister who thinks she will finally get her pot of gold from selling this junk. She's constantly harrassing me to buy it, put my kids in that gimic of a children's study and "push" the stuff for her. I will never give it my children or buy it. I would rather give her 40$ a month! She even spent money she does not have to go to the annual convention in Memphis. It's all pipe dreams.
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